I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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