you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Alive.
So much puke
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
