normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
