Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
