Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
