At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
