So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
