Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
