the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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