I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
