I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I think weed is turning my hair brown
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
