WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
