It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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