You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
