my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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