he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
