try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize