There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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