It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Randomize
