I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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