Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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