There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize