Whod you bang
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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