I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
