So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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