YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
