Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
