Rock
Scissors
Fuck
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
