He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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