I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
