so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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