Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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