You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
