you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
