I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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