This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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