This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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