"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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