Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize