my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
