Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
My vagina just recognized that song.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize