all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
