Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
