Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Randomize
