Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Randomize