WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
This house was built for laser tag.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
My vagina just clenched in fear
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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