we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
she smelled like a LAN party
Girls should come with a carfax report
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
last night I used snow as a chaser
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
