We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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