And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
