So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
