Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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