HIV tests are more positive than that guy
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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