this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
you inspire me to be a worse person
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
