If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
