he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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