Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize