So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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