It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just invented taco cereal.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
