why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
