so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
