i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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