Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
