I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He felt like a one man threesome
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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