Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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