There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
