we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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