I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
